Sitting up in one of my brother’s hay fields is a concrete
slab with the makings of a grain bin sitting on it. My brother owns a wheat seed business and is
gradually adding storage. We built one
bin last year, and now assembling another climbs higher on the to-do list.
I know what I’m getting myself into this year. These bins are made of sheets of corrugated
metal shaped in an arc. The metal sheets
are bolted together until they form a circle.
You start with the top ring, lift it, bolt the next ring underneath, and
so on making the bin grow taller and taller.
One of the major building blocks of sturdy relationships is
trust. Significantly, when conflict
occurs trust can easily be broken. Though counterintuitive, that doesn’t necessarily
mean the relationship is over, it just means trust must be intentionally built
again.
I wonder if building
trust is like building grain bins.
Structure: In
order to keep the partially completed bin safely elevated enough to attach the
next ring you need to have significant support. Similarly, support can be
necessary in the process of trust building.
We build trust through positive interaction and constructive
communication. If people trust each other already fewer supports are
needed. However, if trust is shaky or
has been broken a great deal of support is needed while building takes
place.
In bin building this support took the form of forklifts
bolted to the bin to lift and steady it.
When building trust support can take a great number of forms but here
are a few: communication guidelines to remind us to be respectful, contracts to
clarify expectation, conversations about what we need from each other, or having
a third person in the room when interacting.
Little things add up:
There is no doubt that grain bins are made up of large pieces. However, those
pieces are linked together and stabilized by thousands of nuts and bolts. When you’re working to reinforce trust pay
attention to the little things. Many
moments of positive interaction add up to a great whole of strengthened trust.
Sustainability:
the goal in building is that this bin will someday stand on it’s own built in
structure; not only stand but withstand wind, storms, and everyday use. Even though trust is easily cracked in conflict,
trust also helps relationships withstand conflict. Create strength in your relationships by
building in respect, mutual care, and kindness thus giving your relationships
greater likelihood of holding up not only in everyday interaction, but storms
too.
