Do you ever think about the messages you send without even opening your mouth? Body language is a
powerful method of communication; one we use every day without thinking
about it. Our culture and socialization
greatly determine how we use this tool and even a slight difference in culture
affects how we understand each other.
Here is a
simple example from our Stoneybrook pets:
It’s no wonder that cats and dogs are stereotypically
enemies!
We watched this drama unfold earlier in the summer when our
over eager Australian Shepherd tried to befriend the tiny orphan kittens we
brought home. At first the kittens were
terrified and Indy even seemed put out once in awhile. Over time, though, Freddy and Gabby learned
Indy’s language and all was well. Then
the kittens expanded their territory and met Essie the barn cat. She sent them every kind of cat “I hate you
message” imaginable and they heard “Let’s play” every time. They’d play with her twitching tail and sally
up to her as she hissed. About the only
thing they understood was a sound ear boxing.
They’re still fast friends with Indy, but now that they’ve spent time
with Essie, admired her, and imitated her they have little miscommunications
with their cross cultural friend. The
other day Freddy tried to share Indy’s supper dish. When he heard Indy’s
warning growl he just sank in a little lower with pleasure. He was so content
to eat supper with his purring friend that I had to pull him away before he
learned his error the hard way.
Try thinking about the body language you use even though it
comes so naturally and is often unintentional.
Think about it next time you’re in a high stakes conversation, or you’re
in the middle of a miscommunication. Include nonverbal messages when you think about those you’re sending or interpreting. It may be that those you see instead of
hear are contributing more than you realize.
