One of our family pets is an Australian Shepherd cow dog
named Indy. Indy is a natural herder. She hadn't worked with cattle until she was four years old but she adores helping
out. Though we tried to train Indy to
herd by command, instinct still plays a huge part in Indy’s interaction with
cattle.
Sometimes Indy does a remarkable job. Other times, especially when the stakes are
highest, it’s as if she hears “take ‘em” instead of “get out” through the rush
of adrenaline and instinct in her ears.
Occasionally five people shouting “GET OUT” in exasperation brings no
response. She continues careening behind
a half crazed animal in full gallop. On
those occasions we shut her up in the pick-up cab. She whines and yaps her need to chase. When we tell her to quiet down she seems
surprised, as if she didn’t know those noises came from her. Then she’s sulky with us for denying her the
pleasure of doing what comes naturally.
After the job is finished we can laugh at Indy’s overeager
enthusiasm and her loud whiny songs about her desire and capabilities. In the moment though I sometimes lose my
temper with her. Provided I can catch
her I roll her on her back, hold her nose, and let her have it. As I yell she looks back at me mournfully, as
if she’s never seen me behave so poorly.
What actions come so naturally to you in stress that you don’t even see them? Ironically, and just like Indy, our attributes that contribute the very most to the community can become the most destructive when we carry them too far.
Here are some examples of instinctual behaviors in times of
stress:
·
Looking for conflict: some people seem to enjoy
a good fight and dive right in.
·
Avoiding conflict: other people run when a
little glimmer of tension appears.
·
Getting defensive when we hear criticism.
·
Triangulation: when anxious, venting to another
person about the one you’re in conflict with can appear to be the most helpful
thing possible.
·
Responding to unhealthy behavior in kind.
Also, what
learned behavior is the first to go in the heat of the moment?
Take some time to think about your own instinctual behavior
during times of stress. Then, remember the importance of other skills and
perspectives. Finally, try to see some
humor it in! Hopefully giving thought to these questions will raise awareness
and make space for other voices when the stakes are highest.
