I tried something new this month. Early in May I climbed into “Snoopy” the
10-wheeler manure truck, and tried to keep my place in the repetitive
twenty-minute race of three trucks roaring between corral and field. Since we
feed our cattle hay in the winter months the growth of the manure piles is
proportional to the melting of the haystacks.
By spring the corrals are filled to bursting. In addition to being
inconvenient, these ugly piles accost our eyes and noses whenever we go
near. It’s no wonder we wait impatiently
for the manure and the fields to dry enough to accommodate the trucks.
During the three days of hauling I had plenty of time to
think as I pelted along the well-known route, load after load. Around and around I went and I thought about reframing.
Reframing is the work of consciously looking at
something in a whole new way. Often the word describes looking at something
perceived as negative, ugly, or painful and finding ways in which it may
benefit the growth of beauty or wholeness.
I see manure hauling as an act of reframing. For days we give time and attention to ugly,
smelly manure and spread it out as nutrients on our fields to benefit health
of the soil and growth of the crops. In
the passing of nutrients from soil to plant to animal to soil there is a beauty
of which plain old manure can remind us, if we choose to see it.
Here are two situations when reframing can be useful:
1. Conversations when
people are upset. Really listen
during these conversations; also notice possible feelings or values that fuel
intensity. Then restate what you heard and noticed, leaving out verbal
explosives and evaluations. Finally, ask
if what you heard matches what the person was saying. This isn’t about protecting oneself, or
putting words into someone’s mouth. Reframing
in these situations means focusing on the nuggets of conversation that aide
better understanding.
2. Experiences we
rehash. We all have formative stories.
These experiences have shaped our perceptions of ourselves as well as the
world around us. In these instances doing
the work of personal reframing helps us tell our important stories in new ways. Often difficult experiences stimulate growth. Reframing means taking our eyes off of the
painful, the ugly, and the inconvenient, looking instead for ways in which
these same stories have contributed to growth, newly reached health, or beauty
just discovered.
The crew cleaned out the corrals in record time this year. Still,
three truck drivers and a loader operator devoted three days to making the
nutrients in that manure available to the plants in the fields. Reframing is an action that takes time,
effort, and patience but can help us see how difficult conversations or
experiences contribute to growth and better understanding.
I write this blog for Common Ground Conciliation Service. Read about our work with non-profit organizations at http://www.commongroundcs.org/
