First thoughts of planting season begin when the days lengthen and seed catalogues come with every day’s mail. Gardeners drool over the colorful pictures of vegetables and flowers as they make lists of seeds to buy. Then when the air and earth begin to warm and there’s less chance of frost it’s time to roll up our sleeves and start planting.
I remember planting in the garden with my grandma each spring. She must have had a map of her future garden in her head because she gave very confident directions of where to make shallow ditches and sprinkle different kinds of seed. Though the seeds didn’t look like much at the time, we’d cover up each row with a great deal of hope and pat the earth firm. Then the garden looked as empty and bare as ever, so we’d mark the beginning and end of each seed type with a rock or a small stick so that we’d know where we’d already planted. Sometimes though, when the plants came up and Gram would go out to count them and crow over them, she’d find a patch where we’d double planted. She’d shake her head and laugh even after the plants matured and she pulled radishes from around her onions.
I’m sure you’ve heard planting used as a metaphor for actions and consequences. We can’t always see the immediate effects words and actions have on others. Yet, as we wait and watch we can see the fruit of what’s been done. In her book, Wouldn’t Take Nothing for My Journey Now, Maya Angelou uses this metaphor of planting: “Although nature has proven season in and season out that if a thing that is planted bears at all, it will yield more of itself, there are those who seem certain that if they plant tomato seeds, at harvesttime they can reap onions.
Too many times for comfort I have expected to reap good when I know I have sown evil… Now, after years of observation and enough courage to admit what I have observed, I try to plant peace if I do not want discord; to plant loyalty and honesty if I want to avoid betrayal and lies.”
Whether positive or negative, we often see the consequences of our actions in the level of health reflected in our relationships.
Yet, as I write, I see how people could use these words to place the entirety of blame on themselves for unhealthy relationships. I am encouraging owning responsibility for the seeds we plant but blame is entirely different; it’s a beginning to violence. We plant seeds not only in our relationships with others, but also in the words we speak to ourselves, our “self-talk.” This self-talk can be overly critical, and we often become what we call ourselves. Take responsibility for your own planting instead of placing blame; and remember that others plant seeds alongside yours.
Be intentional about the seeds you plant even as you remember that we cannot take all credit for the growth. Be aware of the effect your words or actions may have in your interactions with others and in your own self-talk. Chances are that violence begets more, and perhaps greater violence, while kindness produces increasing kindness.
Just a reminder, I write this monthly blog for Common Ground Conciliation Service. Check out the website at: http://www.commongroundcs.org/
