I began by setting up my board in the living room, our largest warm space. I’d spend all day on a measly little patch of board trying to get it to look like I imagined. When my family came in they would excitedly congregate in front of my work. The conversation went like this: “Wow, your cabbages look great!” and “Something’s wrong with your potatoes.” Or perhaps, “What is that supposed to be?” Or worse yet, “Look at those strawberries!” when referring to my tomatoes.
I couldn’t always see that my family’s critique was not meant as a personal affront, so sometimes my reaction was a, “Well, you paint it then!” sort of answer. However, after months of doing art in my family’s common living area I began to see that they were offering me a gift of insight from the perspective of other eyes. All of us, at some point, hear feedback that seems difficult to swallow. It’s extremely easy to get defensive, especially if the topic in question is one that has consumed much of our time, creative energy, and excitement. This is what I began to learn though:
• Take a step back. Critiquing an idea or action does not equal attacking you. It’s just analyzing an idea or action!
• Taking other perspectives into account makes for a better outcome. By “better” I mean more sustainable decisions, more creative ideas, and painting that looks more like potatoes!
• Ask questions. Sometimes my eyes were tired and all my garden vegetables began to look the same. Generally I could see the problems they were addressing. If I asked questions about what they saw, they could often give me inspiration and ideas of how to fix the problem.
• Emotions play a part in our response. I can imagine many scenarios of receiving difficult information that are more serious than mural painting for a family member. However, even in this simple situation my emotions affected my response. Noticing my own disappointment, weariness, or excitement helped me hear their suggestions more openly. Try listening for others’ feelings too and their suggestions may appear less caustic to you.
The beauty of this is that we still get to make our own decisions. Even though I listened to others’ ideas, I still created the mural. Taking others’ perspectives into consideration did stretch my project from the planned several weeks to several months. However, my potatoes don’t look like ground cover anymore, plus the mural is much more interesting than I originally planned. Hearing another’s criticism can be really difficult. I found it useful though, when I remembered to listen instead of taking offense.
