As the weeks of October go by I’m still thinking about what I wrote last month – remembering to slow down and take a little time during anxious situations in order to reach a more sustainable result. This month I want to tell you a story that I think might help clarify what I mean. This story is one I have heard from my Grandma many times.
Gram spent her formative years in India. Born to missionary parents on the plains, she went to boarding school several days’ train ride away from home. “Going down day” was when the students made the trek from the school high in the foothills to the train station on the end of the plains. There they would separate into groups according to destination and meet the adults who had come to supervise the trips. On this memorable trip down, Gram’s dad met her and her brothers, as well as some other children going to the same area. Because of the length of their journey, they had to change trains at a station called Bina. Their train was scheduled to arrive at Bina in the early hours of the morning so Grandpa told the children to help him watch.
Of course, one might as well get comfortable for a long train ride. So the travelers opened their bedrolls, kicked off their shoes and socks, opened their luggage and made themselves at home. They were all sleeping when the train ground to a stop. “What station is this?” someone asked groggily, “It’s Bina!.” Chaos reigned. Shoes, socks, half open luggage, bedrolls, flashlights, everything went flying out the window. As the last person hopped off the train shoeless, sleepy and scared, the conductor could be seen, holding his ample belly and laughing. “Plen-ty of time sir, plen-ty of time,” he told Grandpa Friesen. To their chagrin, as the train rolled over a switch in the track, the platform lights went out. After such an anxious, high-energy moment, the travelers were left with a mess and no way of seeing what needed be done. Somewhere in the collective mountain of belongings was a flashlight, and the work began with trying to find it.
Can Gram’s story teach us something beyond the obvious? I think it holds several lessons for us. 1. In intense moments, such as conflict, I think that I need to hurry and do something quickly to take care of the situation. 2. When I hurry I never do as good of a job, then it takes me more time to take care of the mess I made. 3. Being intentional in stressful moments – including conflict – often brings about a more constructive, longer lasting solution. So, when we’re blindsided by high stress moments of conflict, let’s take a little time to think and be intentional or perhaps we will end up with a mountain we didn’t see coming.
