My Granddad used to say that one could put up with anything for a short amount of time. Knowing that the present, uncomfortable situation will not last long is one thing, but the unknown in difficult times increases anxiety. Author Richardson writes: “Anxiety…is more uncomfortable than fear, which is a reaction to the known…Anxiety is less tangible and more amorphous than fear. For this reason we feel a lack of control.” As anxiety about the unknown intensifies it seems normal to do everything in our power to make the discomfort stop. So, as either individual or collective anxiety increases, our actions become more reactive and instinctual rather than carefully thought out. Decisions made quickly in stressful situations only take into consideration that particular moment and therefore carry unseen consequences.
We can all think of emergency situations where quick instinctual decisions are necessary. If we assume that the decisions made in situations of conflict only affect the present moment leaving the future a blank slate in front of us, perhaps this style of making decisions wouldn’t ever present a problem. However, if we look at time through other lenses we see the importance of careful decision making in times of interpersonal stress. John Paul Lederach writes of two such perceptions of time.
1. One year, at a meeting between the National Council of Churches of Kenya and the Nairobi Peace Initiative, Africa, a woman named Jebuwot Sumbeiywo shared the view of time she had learned from her parents and grandparents. In her native language people speak of the past that lies before us and the future that lies behind us. Thus, we move backward into an unknown future while we see the past that has affected both the present and the future. Viewing time this way changes the importance of the past, as well as the decisions we make in the present.
2. In a conversation regarding a land dispute between a Native American tribe and a nearby city, one member of the tribe brought up the urgency of the situation. A tribe elder reminded him, “Decisions made seven generations ago affect us yet today… and decisions we make today will affect the next seven generations.” During the direct negotiations between the tribe and the city the differing perspectives of time were obvious. One began with “from time immemorial…” the other showed concern about immediate issues. For one the decisions of the past greatly affected the present situation, the consequences of which would affect seven generations. The other concerned themselves with several years in the future, at most.
Anxiety can give us needed energy to work toward solutions in conflict. However, allowing anxiety to push quick solutions merely reverts to the status quo and the issues in conflict will probably come up again, and again. Though perhaps it seems counterproductive at the time, slowing down decisions in order to look for the wisdom of the past and the consequences for the future make for both healthier process and longer lasting solutions.
Sources used:
Creating a Healthier Church, Ronald W. Richardson
The Moral Imagination: the art and soul of building peace, John Paul Lederach
The Hidden Lives of Congregations, Israel Galindo
