“The secret to working with a cow is to be more stubborn
than she,” my brother told me as I headed out to the pasture for the first time
to collect the family cow for milking.
We’ve had cattle on our place for as long as I can remember, but owning
a milk cow takes the bovine and caregiver relationship to a whole new
level. Now, several years into this
adventure I agree very much and add that kindness, and creativity go much
farther than force.
Lately I had reason to think of this advice again. Spring is a time of change at Stoneybrook and
one change is the accommodations for Miss Molly the milk cow and her calf. Any time you change an animal’s routine you
must endure a period of building a new normal.
If rules and fences are going to be pushed it will most likely happen
during this uncomfortable space between yesterday’s routine and next week’s
routine. Because of this I dread the
change from Molly’s winter barn to her summer pasture.
Molly had been begging to go to pasture some weeks before
the move actually took place. She’d hang
longingly through the panels forming her enclosure for even a morsel of
something green, and her milk production began going down dramatically. Molly must remember the discomfort of change
too though, because even after all her begging she balked at going into the
trailer. It took one person pulling and three people pushing to make the leap. Much to my relief, once in her familiar place she went on as if nothing happened. The next morning she placidly
walked to the post where we milked last year and chewed her cud meditatively
while we squatted in the dewy grass for the familiar milking routine.
In contrast, Rusty, the current object of all Molly’s
mothering, had no idea that such a thing as pasture existed. Even so, he had no qualms about leaping into
the trailer. Once he found himself in
grassy wide-open space he ran, and jumped, and showed all manner of calf-like
expressions of joy. Rusty has experienced
the same routine for all of his young life.
He spends the day with his Momma, goes to bed in a different pen in the
evening, and rejoins her for breakfast after we’ve taken our share from her
generosity. Rusty hasn’t ever cared for
this routine and seemed to hope that change of location meant change of
sleeping arrangements too. He absolutely
refused to go to bed that first night and broke out of the pen after we left.
For the next few days he required several stubborn people and one stern looking
cowdog to enforce the bedtime routine.
I must admit that I felt a sense of accomplishment yesterday
when, as I called Molly up for supper, Rusty came running too. Instead of fighting the routine, he trotted to
the little walk through gate, waited patiently for me to open it, and walked
through as if there was nothing he’d rather do.
What changed!?
First, I spent quite a few days luring Rusty in with treats. He still has access to treats when he walks
through the gate at bedtime though he usually thumbs his nose at them now. Rusty's community played a role too. Molly supported my
efforts to enforce the routine and had Rusty herded into the gate corner at
least one evening. Rusty also joins the
“big boys” in the corral for the night now. This corral is home to one big
bull, one almost big bull, two medium bulls, and a little bull. Rusty wants to be a big bull very badly so he
seems to feel grown up as he trots into the corral to add his tiny bull self to
the mix. Finally, Rusty knows what to expect.
That uncomfortable period of change is over and we all rejoice. This morning, as we finished milking, I
looked over and saw Rusty waiting patiently by the gate, ears erect and little
wet nose poking through the bars, ready for breakfast.
After all this, it really is no wonder that I’ve think about
my own behavior during transition.
How do I engage the inevitable change that comes? Do I beg and then balk? Do I take what comes?
How do I weather the period of transition? Do I patiently
work through the discomfort? Do I make
life difficult for those around me as I search for a new normal?
On whom do I rely in these times of change? Who is my equivalent of Molly and the big
bulls?
And a question that fits so many aspects of life: where are
the places that force looks so tempting yet patient creative persistence does
more to further the goal?
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| Flowers are blooming all over the place at Stoneybrook this time of year. These Austrian Copper rose bushes are ones my great grandmother Edna planted long ago. They're too pretty not to share! |
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You are welcome to visit us at Stoneybrook Farm. Rent Dot Cottage, a 133 square foot tiny house, and rest, reflect, or create in this beautiful place.
One night in the cottage is $100. Check-in time is 3pm, check- out time 1pm. There will be a discount for multiple night stays.
Dot Cottage is also available for day use: for $50 you can come as early as 8am and stay as late as 6pm.
For questions or reservations please email: tinydotcottage@gmail.com
